At night, when you are lying on your bed, just before you lose that link to reality, after you bothered yourself thinking of all your worries, about every shattered hope, your guilts, every undiminished mission you were not able to accomplish during the whole day, after all of that, you kinda reach that pure moment when you think that everything makes sense, every person you met, every word was said, made sense, all the random parts of the random articles and books you read , rearranged and found their place in your mind, in your soul, every situation you were put in, led you straight to a feeling that you could have never lived without.
Everything in your day made sense,and so did the awkwardness! you then think that you a part of something bigger, something huge, that your existence has to mean something, it is one moment, one pure moment that lasts more than it seems to be. then you close your eyes , seeking for inner peace, that peace you were not able to achieve during the day, 8 hours before you open them again, before the pain manifests, before you re-obtain the link to reality, to worries, to guilts, again. and you can't wait to re-lose the link, again and again.
Everything in your day made sense,and so did the awkwardness! you then think that you a part of something bigger, something huge, that your existence has to mean something, it is one moment, one pure moment that lasts more than it seems to be. then you close your eyes , seeking for inner peace, that peace you were not able to achieve during the day, 8 hours before you open them again, before the pain manifests, before you re-obtain the link to reality, to worries, to guilts, again. and you can't wait to re-lose the link, again and again.
Well said! In fact, it is better off that folks hold themselves into accountability every day before going to bed. This in part will help them rectify their shortcomings and be, for the most part, on the right track. It seems that you are such kind of sensitive person who gets triggered by whatever they read, hear or even say. Actually this help make you realize what peace of mind really is. All what you have mentioned discloses the essence of life in the purest sense of the word. In the course of our busy lives, only few take a rest and think of their deeds, accomplishments or failures, only few who are cognizant of the swift rhythm of life, only few who taste the sweetness on their howling successes. In my opinion, sticking to the religion and appreciating living in obedience always outweigh the childish indulgence in disobediences. In most cases, repentance acts as a transition to the desired inner peace.
ReplyDeleteYou are getting the exact idea! and I am so happy for that, when I wrote every idea, or thought in this blog, I got to wonder, will they get it!? is there anyone who is going to understand this feeling?! but I wrote them anyway.
ReplyDeleteI don't know whether am I sensitive or not, I have been told that more than once lately ( online), real ppl don't see me that way, quite the opposite actually, which makes me like feel that I haven't known the real me yet,
I do think a lot before sleeping, about every single thing, about me, my fate, my past. about all ppl I met and they are no longer in my life, about my hopes, my dreams, Everything!
I think you are getting it, and I am happy for that,
Would you read S.O.S in this blog too ,it is quite related :):)
Cool! I will read it later today.
ReplyDeleteAya, once again I feel like you are speaking straight to me, or about me actually. I find myself thinking every night, especially lately. Whether its situations or conversations that hapenned or that I expect it to soon...it all plays out in my mind. At the risk of sounding psychotic, sometimes these thoughts I get begin to race. It's like I'm thinking about atleast three different things at the same time, trying to juggle them. It gets frustrating really...which makes that moment of peace that follows priceless. Lets hope we keep having that or else we'll have to say "hello, insomnia".
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