Unfair to songs

There are some songs that have instantaneous effect on our ears, before completing those you become in love with them, he wasn't one of those songs, he is one of the songs which you discover its beauty  each time you listen, you realize that everything makes sense, that each word is in place, that the tones rhyme with your breathes , that there is a kind of beauty behind all the normality , you feel the song with your soul, not ears , Or eyes.

the trick is that such songs aren't always discovered. Mostly Un-discovered .
they are so normal at first , that you don't bother repeating. and Yea those guys too.

I was lucky, that at this day I didn't have any other song on the shuttle but one, So I kept listening over and over, the same he was the only guy in my life then .
Don't get it wrong, I can now pick the song from million others, It wasn't because it was there.
I mean it wasn't the only reason.Listen, the bottom of the line is you are being unfair to those songs, there are ppl who are worth-knowing, not worth-meeting Only!

Don't say that!

Don't say I'm not in the mood to read, you are just not in the mood to complete this book now, read something else.

Don't say I have many enemies,  Just believe that at the end of your life, you will have a particular number of friends and enemies, and it just happened that you met all enemies first!

Don't say I'm not inspired, just you saying those words is enough reason for inspiration to go away!

Don't say I'm not motivated,just your question about motivation, just your thought about motivation, just you spelling motivation, should be a good start for motivation. for success.
(If are really not motivated , you won't bother talking about motivation!)

Don't say I'm lost, Say that at this particular time, it is advisable to be somewhere else.

11.11.2011

It is 11.11.2011..
So I think that is already enough reason to write, honestly I never got why people are so crazy about dates, I heard that Brad Pitt and Jolie paid a lot so there wedding be on 6.6.2006
Ironic, isn't it?
Maybe on 12.12.2012 , people will kill to do their special things on this particular day. as it is their only chance to meet such a date..
Today is 11.11.2011 and it was a normal day, less than normal actually. heard that Jews were expecting the end of the world today , and I read something about how they will come to Egypt, to the pyramids searching for (Eternity), I can imagine our media promoting this and actually make people believe it, for tourism of course,Not ironic, it is pathetic.
Today is 11.11 and it wasn't the end of the world.
Maybe we will wait to 12.12 and see what happens.?!

And another point, what is all about the end of the world will be 11.11 Or 12.12 , like God needs those dates to prove anything!. 
Why are we so egoist to believe that all dates , all week- day's names, all months are the only months, or are the known months to God,
Those months doesn't mean anything to any creature but human, Remember that all animals and whatever anything will be judged at this day also.
Even to some people (humans) these days don't mean anything. 11.11 doesn't meet 11.11 in Arabic dates, if we only knew our culture we would have never heard about those!
Chinese dates also.
Like we are in front of God who don't find any knowledge to make any other dates (ast8for Allah)!
This is pathetic.

an Admission

-I replied : At least I know all the bad attitudes within me.
Hold on here, people are not getting it, they are really don't get it, that I can be whatever degree of hypocrisy I want to be, whatever angel I choose, that I can choose whatever  permanent face over my face.
I can't get it, people are asking others to be honest , and they are not ready for this kind of honesty.
At least I show all people all bad attitudes at the beginning , OK I always hear how Aggressive I'm.
how crazy and mad and whatever word explain my impatience and my rush.
At first I didn't mind being famous with that, cause I actually had the courage to change every person's thought.
but numbers are getting bigger, with less patience .
If you know me, I may seem little pushy, and crazy. But actually I'm far away from being crazy!
Define craziness.
Define a crazy girl.
I can't explain to people every single reaction I do for every single action I experience in every single day.
I can't discuss backgrounds of every single decision I made telling them  whatever personal and environmental factors I took this decision in.
I can't convince every single person of my view, my story, as I see it, from my side.. so I smile when someone tells me how crazy and rush I'm.
-For whoever reads this, U should know that I'm not that craziness, and I am not that stupid I accept to be in front of them.
They say that in any country in the world , if the smart admit how smart he is . then he is actually stupid . And I'm saying that if the wise experienced girl confessed how wise and controllable she really is then she is not that wise. so why writing this?! cause I probably not going to meet you any time soon.
-For whoever reads this, U should know that I only have different view, different prospects , different standards.
-For whoever reads this keep in mind , in every single situations , I have my reasons for doing whatever I did or will do.

Thanks

- I know who I'm going to be when I'm 60 or 70, not like granny who loves cats and lives with them, yet I always picture myself alone. with my books , my diaries , my thoughts, my regrets.
I've always had this thought that I'll write a book at this particular age, to tell about everything I had no chance to tell.
To say clearly who matters , and who don't and who never did, to apologize for the mistakes I don't have the courage to apologize for now, or 10 years more.
to thank people , to tell whom I was inspired by,  to tell all my dirty secrets before I leave , to say how I finally found peace, what is my degree of spirituality then.
-I always knew I will write such a book, what tells me such thoughts?, I really don't know, maybe I will find out and write that in the book also.
-But in case I didn't make it to 70, I will start here, now, thanking people.
-Special thanks for my best friend (Bondo2), whom I consider my soul mate , for all the times we laughed , for all the times we were stupid doing stupid things, thinking we were such cool buddies.
for all the times he heard my complaints without boredom, and for all the times he said he is bored .
thanks for the time you listened, I always had a shoulder to lean on, and this thought was my relief.
thanks for introducing me to HuDa and Noor and Sandy , for making me know such productive people.
wish you all the best , all the joy, all the achievements, want you to come back and complete
our friendship from where we stopped.
-Special thanks for my English senior teacher whom I shall consider my model, for all the times you pushed me forward, raising my self-esteem.
for all the times you told me that I'm so going to win Nobel prize, and calling me Aya Zweil (which I hated , it didn't rhyme at all).
for the times you sent me those sms that encouraged me.
You are my best adult, after my grandfather :)
-Special thanks to Sandy :), girl u rock, I mean really you do.
for your honesty, your confidence within me, you are such an activist and I adore that kind of girls I know one thing , that if u were in Cairo , we would be like buddies!
For Both Huda and Noor, for keeping in touch, for letting me check your updates ,for the book's recommendations , for letting me read what you guys write (which is by the way amazing), for letting me experience new culture :) U Rock guys. and I wish we met one day isa

Me, and what I believe in

In my family's talks , mostly on Thursdays, I just like how they talk, discussing stuffs,
If bill gates told you that his dinner was an investment as his father and mother were discussing stuffs that pushed him forward, I can also tell you that my family's talks takes the major credit shaping my personality.
Too many disagreements in my family's talks, and it is just the way it should be.
if you are a stranger looking to my family outside door, you will definitely  see how strange my family really is.
But you know what they say, you can't learn from someone when he is already in agreement with you.
My grandfather, I just love him , I love how he talks to me , narrating these old stories that no one else in the family knows.
Why me? , I don't know , yet I like this fact , maybe because I talk a lot which encourage anyone to talk with me, maybe because I'm his oldest granddaughter, or maybe it is just a coincidence. He is totally 100% against both my mother and my auntie's opinions, if I should pick a father for both of them one day , I would absolutely never choose my grandfather.
and there comes the third generation ,me , my brother, my both cousins.
with different views to the whole matter.
Yet I may also classify this generation to another generation.
I bet to swear that there aren't two people in my family are actually having the same opinion about anything.
you will absolutely be amazed by how different opinions can be in one family.
But I just love my grandfather's view.
what I hate the most about him, that I can see disappointment in his eyes, and I'm not ashamed to tell him that, he experienced a lot to reach this black attitude about the whole system thing,, and i didn't, not yet. I'm still filled with hope to the nose.
He was proud of us , of the whole generation I mean , when Mubarak was arrested.
He truly hated Mubarak, he yet felt pity on him, because he is over 80 but truly hated him.
he was always saying ( You will never find an old lady or man , who loves Mubarak, why So?..because no one saw Gamal abdelnasser will ever love Mubarak).
Gamal Abdel-nasser ,, I should absolutely write a full article about him !!
My mother, was actually laughing , when the pure soul meets the pure immorality, there is nothing left but a laugh, to hide all the anger .
she was fascinated by this story of cheating.
when an important player I guess, was running for elections , he wanted to win in any possible way.
so he chose the fast way, to cheat!, so he tamped elections (he said that after the revolution of course), that he put with his hands 3.000 paper with his name, paid to ppl whatever bribes he needed.
to find the result that he was given only 500 vote.
Hahaha , Mum said even the cheating was being cheated , how disgusting and funny is that?!
Me : the pinky view of course , that I will be the one in my family who will do something, who will change something, I didn't give up hope , and I'm sure I won't anytime soon. I just love the country with all its disgusting stuff, know what is that? it is called unconditional love !!

The silent girl Vs. the talkative one

-I'm not seeing myself 10 years from now yet, I'm not seeing where will I be? Or how can you find me then.
Yet I have a clear view about the places you will never find me in , and what I won't be doing.

-I think and pretty sure that people get what places they won't work at away before knowing the places they really love to  work at  ,, Ironic still true, at least to me.
Hate is always my way to find what I really love, to me hate is the temporarily beginning of anything , I sill remember how I hated my two long-life best friends at first.
Back to me point ( I hate this about me , changing points I mean , a single word can lead me to thousand subject,, Ops I did it again :D)

-How did I know?!.. O.k in the class everyone has his role, everyone has a place in the class : the nerd (which rather call a passionate towards something accidentally coincidentally  showed to be studying),, the genius ,, the jerk,, the funny,, the cool ,, the silent,, and Me)

-Me :I've always been the kind of girl who talks a lot, who moves a lot, if I want to pick up the pen from ground the ruler is now on ground.
My chemistry senior teacher told me that I'm over-energetic girl !!
I've always been the kind of girl who looks to everyone's face, every detail, everything.
You will never see my eyes on something a whole min.
I hate standing still. So u will absolutely never find me behind a disk at work doing the paper work.
cause I can't bear sitting 2 hours ,, I can't listen 1 hour without a talk-break.
I'm not proud of that, yet i won't change that anytime soon.

She ( a friend who I rather call the silent girl) : Haha OK how can I ever describe something like this, at first I thought that people who don't talk a lot, don't have anything to say. that was before I met her.
She can remain silent 7 hours together without saying a single word , in the class I never heard her , in the whole first year of high school I didn't even know she is in my school.
Once I was looking to her face to see if she really blink like humans , at first I could never recognize her voice.
she always has two pens , that if one of them is on ground she don't have to move to pick it then.
My English senior teacher told me something about her ( She don't talk but when she does , we have to listen). and I said inside me like Wow.
Is silence has this power to describe someone's personality more than a well-picked word ever can?!.
Or you couldn't choose the exactly needed words to describe how you feel so you chose this tool?!.

I really don't know yet.
The silent girl Vs. the talkative energetic one !