Pathetic humanistic ideas..

-Imagine an emotional person who can't deal with most of known emotions, which frequently leads him bursting new unknown emotions, that he just can't handle.

All along I thought that I was emotionally intelligent, I can control how I feel whatever it was, I don't let myself being drifted by love, hate, affection, or even indifference.

I only let myself feel whatever I want to feel, people couldn't hurt me, unless I allowed them to, and I was happy, of course things didn't always go my way, and there were some stupid people whom I couldn't control my love towards, and more stupid people towards whom I couldn't control my hate, there were exceptions which I hated the most, I mean seriously the most thing I do hate more than the rule itself is its exception like it is not hard enough to reach out a rule!! Back to my point there were few exceptions that distracted me, eventually led me to write this.

Lately, things changed, they always do, don't they?! , lately I have been thinking that nothing is ultimate and it is so dramatically un wise to generalize human feelings the way I used to do, it is not that easy to set a rule, set its exception without actually being distracted and confused that the exception can turn out to be the rule, and rule turns out to be just another exception, the more mature I become the less clear things turn out to be, one single notion is never a one single notion to me, it drifts more thoughts than I will ever care to count, so for all my exceptions, for every single one whom I loved when the most reasonable thing to do was hating him, but still I kept loving him indeed, for every single person whom I was supposed to give up on him when all I did was giving in.

and For all people who did everything they could to make me love them, and no matter how hard they tried ,no matter how hard I tried,  I just didn't love them the way they wanted, the way they deserved.

You are the only proof that no matter how hard I tried to un-humanize myself , I turned out to be a human being after all, which is so disappointing , you know :P…

P.S :  What I just wrote suffers a severe mind-diversity, and you probably didn't finish it, which makes it more likely that you are not reading this pardo,, anyway Sorry, I will probably be killed by over-thinking Just saying!