A dialogue with my atheist friend

 I have this long-life dream to read all Mustafa Mahmoued's books, all of them , no excuses.
I read more than 10 books so far, which is a pretty good start, as I started quite short time ago.
About this book, I read more than one review in goodreads , and everything was like encouraging me to pick this particular book to read.
And I did,and it is like the most powerful book I've ever read for the author till now (after Einstein and relativity).
It is mainly about religion , about how every single thing in the universe stand for something, every single word in Quran wasn't put by coincidence, every thing has a drastic reason,  an enormous rule.
Also it is about philosophy. Science, when those three branches are united , the book becomes worth every second passed and every piaster paid . 
It made my eyes burst in tears, to see how great Allah really is, how meek, patient.
 It tells you how his friend the atheist doesn't really believe in atheism. he just deny being monothesist or being involved and restricted to any religion. he can't believe in atheism , nobody can,because being atheist is choosing  not to believe in anything, even the concept it-self, got it?!

I liked those quotes.

لأن الله غيب .. ولأن المستقبل غيب .. ولأن الآخرة غيب .. ولأن من يذهب إلى القبر لا يعود .. راجت بضاعة الإلحاد ..
وسادت الأفكار المادية .. وعبد الناس أنفسهم واستسلموا لشهواتهم وانكبوا على الدنيا يتقاتلون على منافعها .. وظن
أكثرهم أن ليس وراء الدنيا شيء وليس بعد الحياة شيء .. وتقاتلت الدول الكبرى على ذهب الأرض وخيراتها .. وأصبح
للكفر نظريات وللمادية فلسفات وللإنكار محاريب وسدنة وللمنكرين كعبة يتعلقون بأهدابها ويحجون إليها في حلهم
وترحالهم .. كعبة مهيبة يسمونها "العلم".




ولماذا يتعدد الكامل ..؟ وهل به نقص ليحتاج إلى من يكمله ؟ .. إنما يتعدد الناقصون 




لله أعطانا الحرية أن نعلو على رضاه "فنعصيه" ، ولكن لم يعط أحداً الحرية في أن يعلو على مشيئته .. وهنا وجه آخر من
وجوه نسبية الحرية الإنسانية



الناس يولدون من لحظة الميلاد غير متساوين في الذكاء والقوة والجمال والمواهب ..
يولدون درجات في كل شيء ..
واقصى ما طمعت فيه المذاهب الاقتصادية هي المساواة في الفرص وليس المساواة بين الناس ..
ان يلقى كل واحد نفس الفرصة في التعليم والعلاج والحد الادنى للمعيشة ..
وهو نفس ما تحض عليه الاديان ..
اما الغاء الدرجات والغاء التفاوت فهو الظلم بعينه والامر الذي ينافي الطبيعة


أنت تسلم بأن الله خالق ثم تقول من خلقه ؟! فتجعل منه خالقاً ومخلوقاً في نفس الجملة وهذا تناقض
والله الذي خلق الزمان والمكان هو بالضرورة فوق الزمان والمكان

يقول الله في الحديث القدسي  انا يستدل بي .. انا لا يستدل عليّ

ويسخر الملحد فيقول اليس عجيبا هذا الرب الذي بتدخل في كل صغيرة و كبيرة؟ فيأخذ بناصية الدابة و يوحي للنحل ان تتخذ بيوتا من الجبال و ما تسقط ورقة الا و يعلمها و ما تلد انثي الا و يعلمها و اذا عثرت قدم في حفرة فهو الذي اعثرها و اذا سقطت ذبابة في طعام
  فهو الذي اوقعها الا تشغلون الهكم بتفاهات؟

ولا أفهم أيكون الرب في نظر السائل أجدر بالربوبية لو أنه أعفى
نفسه من هذه المسئوليات وأخذ إجازة وأدار ظهره للكون الذي
خلقه وترآه يأآل بعضه بعضاً!
هل الرب الجدير في نظره هو رب عاطل مغمى عليه لا يسمع ولا
يرى ولا يستجيب ولا يعتني بمخلوقاته ؟ .. ثم من أين للسائل
بالعلم بأن موضوعاً ما تافه لا يستحق تدخل الإله، وموضوعاً آخر
مهماً وخطير الشأن ؟
إن الذبابة التي تبدو تافهة في نظر السائل لا يهم في نظره أن
تسقط في الطعام أو لا تسقط، هذه الذبابة يمكن أن تغيّر التاريخ
بسقوطها التافه ذلك .. فإنها يمكن أن تنقل الكوليرا إلى جيش
وتكسب معرآة لطرف آخر، تتغير بعدها موازين التاريخ آله.
ألم تقتل الإسكندر الأآبر بعوضة ؟
إن أتفه المقدمات ممكن أن تؤدي إلى أخطر النتائج .. وأخطر
المقدمات ممكن أن تنتهي إلى لا شيء .. وعالم الغيب وحده هو
الذي يعلم قيمة آل شيء.
وهل تصور السائل نفسه وصيّاً على الله يحدد له اختصاصاته ..
تقدّس وتنزّه ربنا عن هذا التصور الساذج.
إنما الإله الجدير بالألوهية هنا هو الإله الذي أحاط بكل شيء علماً
.. لا يعزب عنه مثقال ذرة في الأرض ولا في السماء.
الإله السميع المجيب ، المعتني بمخلوقاته.


-صدقني أنا أشعر أحياناً بأن هناك قوة..
-قوة!
-نعم .. ثمة قوة مجهولة وراء الكون.. أنا أؤمن تماماً بأن هناك
قوة..
-وما تصورك لهذه القوة.. أتتصورها كائناً يسمع ويرى ويعقل
ويتعهد مخلوقاته بالرعاية والهداية، وينزل لهم الكتب ويبعث لهم
الرسل ويستجيب لصرخاتهم وتوسلاتهم ؟
-بصراحة أنا لا أصدق هذا الكلام ولا أتصوره، وأكثر من هذا أراه
ساذجاً لا يليق بهذه القوة العظيمة
-إذن فهي قوة آهرمغنطيسية عمياء تسوق الكون في عبثية لا
خلاق لها.. وهذه هي الصفة التي تليق بقوتك العظيمة..
-ربما..
-بئس ما تصورت إلهك.. خلق لك البصر فتصورته أعمى.. وخلق
لك الرشد فتصورته عابثاً أخرق.. والله إنك الكافر بعينه، ولو
أحسنت السير والسلوك مدى الدهر.. وإنّ أعمالك الصالحة
مصيرها الإحباط يوم الحساب وأن تتبدد هباء منثوراً..

Between

-Between the said and the non-said words lies thousands of vigorous conflicts, that you can't handle, you can't ignore, you can't help but to give up, each time you will try to wage a battle against those which you consider a non-desirable mind trash, they will grow, leaving deeper scars, bringing other conflicts , lessen the gap between their occurrence too.
Then you seem to have found a way when you give up, to realize now that giving up is not the end,don't solve anything, just another way to make things worse,and realize that you must give up giving up.
what to do? I wish I could answer! but there is a reason I labeled it as Endless issues!

Nobody waits

OK, you must get it, people fall all the time, stop felling pity, stop being paranoid, nobody is waiting for you to hold your hand, tough world here, stop waiting for prince charming to get you out your misery, he won't come, nobody will, no time for you to procrastinate , to feel like you are worth-waiting , well you are not, nobody is.
Your slump?, too bad that nobody cares, bad memories? so deal with them, it is moving can't you see? Stand up now. Jump. Find yourself a place among all the crowd, later you will have much time to cry over your wounds, you will find a shoulder to lean on, to cry on, to feel the humanity through it, your own humanity, Not fair? who said it was, it never was, it never will.
I did said later, didn't I?, not now , far later.
Move ahead now, the last beep, can't you hear?!, No, no other chances to reach there , a long trip but you will reach eventually, Me? Too late for me, I wasted too long, I asked too many questions, No one waited, You, be worth-waiting. Know a lot. Find your track, Don't cry over anything now, they won't wait, it is just the way things are, too many people fell already , don't be one, now RUN RUN, remember don't fall. don't be one.

.

[HBBC] : Supernatural Powers

This week's topic is Engi Amin's choice . Meet the rest of the HBBC members here!

- My first time, what do I hope to achieve?! -Proudly adding another prospect to the topics and interacting with the awesome members :D, Maybe going far and say Improving my English!

-First, I do believe that everyone will answer this concerning to his own experiences that he went through when he was young .and No, I didn't want to fly like (Bat man), Or Crawling and climbing up buildings like (Spider man).

 Unfortunately, the clock is ticking,
the hours are going by.
The past increases,
the future recedes.
Possibilities decreasing,
regrets mounting.  Haruki Murakami

-then I said, what if that was not what is going to happen everyday!
-My dream (actually was more like hope, I was hopeful even when I asked for miracles, I was more believer then) was having the ability to freeze time!
Imagine all the embarrassing situations you will able to skip just like that, Or how it can help you putting words together at an interview, Or turning-point talent show.
Imagine all the stumbles you would be able to erase from your Embarrassment diary , and YES, I have one :P, and No, You can't borrow it!
-Imagine how you can't miss one dead line then, how tons of projects will be delivered in time (and You delayed it as much as you need), Or just think how long you can cry without anyone waiting you to finish and to move on, You don't have to move on then, time won't erase your memory.
Your good ones, and you will not be allowing a bad memory to be part of your day.
-No more hurry. No more panic (I start to feel it is more like let's-be-lazy event :P).
I absolutely choose ''freezing time'' regardless of all evil stuff that may come out from choosing this :P
And Ah one last thing, it is not Hollywood, it is not heaven, It is here, so deliver your projects in time, and stop wishing for a super power, make your own one!  

Free Sample CV Templates, Create CV, Online CV Builder Tool

Free Sample CV Templates, Create CV, Online CV Builder Tool

Look!

when people ask you a certain question, and the emotions all over their face ask you to pick a certain answer .
I consider that a terrible violation of freedom of speech (Freedom of answering),, a terrible cheating.
when our professor are asking one of his questions, you sure can answer correctly without knowing the correct answer, whether it is emotion or the tone associated with his questions, which can give you a quite clear proof to what he want to hear.
I just hate how can they control our mind by this pathetic way, I mean it is worse than they answering their own questions.
Why?,,Clearly they make you think that you picked the answer by yourself , and you didn't , you were a follower , another type of mind slavery.
and the tag-questions are the worse, what is tag questions anyway?, let people tell you a complete answer, a chosen complete one!
what do I want?...Emotionless questions, toneless ones, I want options, to stop, think then pick an answer, No not pick, Create an answer!
Excuse me for my enthusiasm :P!

Unfair to songs

There are some songs that have instantaneous effect on our ears, before completing those you become in love with them, he wasn't one of those songs, he is one of the songs which you discover its beauty  each time you listen, you realize that everything makes sense, that each word is in place, that the tones rhyme with your breathes , that there is a kind of beauty behind all the normality , you feel the song with your soul, not ears , Or eyes.

the trick is that such songs aren't always discovered. Mostly Un-discovered .
they are so normal at first , that you don't bother repeating. and Yea those guys too.

I was lucky, that at this day I didn't have any other song on the shuttle but one, So I kept listening over and over, the same he was the only guy in my life then .
Don't get it wrong, I can now pick the song from million others, It wasn't because it was there.
I mean it wasn't the only reason.Listen, the bottom of the line is you are being unfair to those songs, there are ppl who are worth-knowing, not worth-meeting Only!

Don't say that!

Don't say I'm not in the mood to read, you are just not in the mood to complete this book now, read something else.

Don't say I have many enemies,  Just believe that at the end of your life, you will have a particular number of friends and enemies, and it just happened that you met all enemies first!

Don't say I'm not inspired, just you saying those words is enough reason for inspiration to go away!

Don't say I'm not motivated,just your question about motivation, just your thought about motivation, just you spelling motivation, should be a good start for motivation. for success.
(If are really not motivated , you won't bother talking about motivation!)

Don't say I'm lost, Say that at this particular time, it is advisable to be somewhere else.

11.11.2011

It is 11.11.2011..
So I think that is already enough reason to write, honestly I never got why people are so crazy about dates, I heard that Brad Pitt and Jolie paid a lot so there wedding be on 6.6.2006
Ironic, isn't it?
Maybe on 12.12.2012 , people will kill to do their special things on this particular day. as it is their only chance to meet such a date..
Today is 11.11.2011 and it was a normal day, less than normal actually. heard that Jews were expecting the end of the world today , and I read something about how they will come to Egypt, to the pyramids searching for (Eternity), I can imagine our media promoting this and actually make people believe it, for tourism of course,Not ironic, it is pathetic.
Today is 11.11 and it wasn't the end of the world.
Maybe we will wait to 12.12 and see what happens.?!

And another point, what is all about the end of the world will be 11.11 Or 12.12 , like God needs those dates to prove anything!. 
Why are we so egoist to believe that all dates , all week- day's names, all months are the only months, or are the known months to God,
Those months doesn't mean anything to any creature but human, Remember that all animals and whatever anything will be judged at this day also.
Even to some people (humans) these days don't mean anything. 11.11 doesn't meet 11.11 in Arabic dates, if we only knew our culture we would have never heard about those!
Chinese dates also.
Like we are in front of God who don't find any knowledge to make any other dates (ast8for Allah)!
This is pathetic.

an Admission

-I replied : At least I know all the bad attitudes within me.
Hold on here, people are not getting it, they are really don't get it, that I can be whatever degree of hypocrisy I want to be, whatever angel I choose, that I can choose whatever  permanent face over my face.
I can't get it, people are asking others to be honest , and they are not ready for this kind of honesty.
At least I show all people all bad attitudes at the beginning , OK I always hear how Aggressive I'm.
how crazy and mad and whatever word explain my impatience and my rush.
At first I didn't mind being famous with that, cause I actually had the courage to change every person's thought.
but numbers are getting bigger, with less patience .
If you know me, I may seem little pushy, and crazy. But actually I'm far away from being crazy!
Define craziness.
Define a crazy girl.
I can't explain to people every single reaction I do for every single action I experience in every single day.
I can't discuss backgrounds of every single decision I made telling them  whatever personal and environmental factors I took this decision in.
I can't convince every single person of my view, my story, as I see it, from my side.. so I smile when someone tells me how crazy and rush I'm.
-For whoever reads this, U should know that I'm not that craziness, and I am not that stupid I accept to be in front of them.
They say that in any country in the world , if the smart admit how smart he is . then he is actually stupid . And I'm saying that if the wise experienced girl confessed how wise and controllable she really is then she is not that wise. so why writing this?! cause I probably not going to meet you any time soon.
-For whoever reads this, U should know that I only have different view, different prospects , different standards.
-For whoever reads this keep in mind , in every single situations , I have my reasons for doing whatever I did or will do.

Thanks

- I know who I'm going to be when I'm 60 or 70, not like granny who loves cats and lives with them, yet I always picture myself alone. with my books , my diaries , my thoughts, my regrets.
I've always had this thought that I'll write a book at this particular age, to tell about everything I had no chance to tell.
To say clearly who matters , and who don't and who never did, to apologize for the mistakes I don't have the courage to apologize for now, or 10 years more.
to thank people , to tell whom I was inspired by,  to tell all my dirty secrets before I leave , to say how I finally found peace, what is my degree of spirituality then.
-I always knew I will write such a book, what tells me such thoughts?, I really don't know, maybe I will find out and write that in the book also.
-But in case I didn't make it to 70, I will start here, now, thanking people.
-Special thanks for my best friend (Bondo2), whom I consider my soul mate , for all the times we laughed , for all the times we were stupid doing stupid things, thinking we were such cool buddies.
for all the times he heard my complaints without boredom, and for all the times he said he is bored .
thanks for the time you listened, I always had a shoulder to lean on, and this thought was my relief.
thanks for introducing me to HuDa and Noor and Sandy , for making me know such productive people.
wish you all the best , all the joy, all the achievements, want you to come back and complete
our friendship from where we stopped.
-Special thanks for my English senior teacher whom I shall consider my model, for all the times you pushed me forward, raising my self-esteem.
for all the times you told me that I'm so going to win Nobel prize, and calling me Aya Zweil (which I hated , it didn't rhyme at all).
for the times you sent me those sms that encouraged me.
You are my best adult, after my grandfather :)
-Special thanks to Sandy :), girl u rock, I mean really you do.
for your honesty, your confidence within me, you are such an activist and I adore that kind of girls I know one thing , that if u were in Cairo , we would be like buddies!
For Both Huda and Noor, for keeping in touch, for letting me check your updates ,for the book's recommendations , for letting me read what you guys write (which is by the way amazing), for letting me experience new culture :) U Rock guys. and I wish we met one day isa

Me, and what I believe in

In my family's talks , mostly on Thursdays, I just like how they talk, discussing stuffs,
If bill gates told you that his dinner was an investment as his father and mother were discussing stuffs that pushed him forward, I can also tell you that my family's talks takes the major credit shaping my personality.
Too many disagreements in my family's talks, and it is just the way it should be.
if you are a stranger looking to my family outside door, you will definitely  see how strange my family really is.
But you know what they say, you can't learn from someone when he is already in agreement with you.
My grandfather, I just love him , I love how he talks to me , narrating these old stories that no one else in the family knows.
Why me? , I don't know , yet I like this fact , maybe because I talk a lot which encourage anyone to talk with me, maybe because I'm his oldest granddaughter, or maybe it is just a coincidence. He is totally 100% against both my mother and my auntie's opinions, if I should pick a father for both of them one day , I would absolutely never choose my grandfather.
and there comes the third generation ,me , my brother, my both cousins.
with different views to the whole matter.
Yet I may also classify this generation to another generation.
I bet to swear that there aren't two people in my family are actually having the same opinion about anything.
you will absolutely be amazed by how different opinions can be in one family.
But I just love my grandfather's view.
what I hate the most about him, that I can see disappointment in his eyes, and I'm not ashamed to tell him that, he experienced a lot to reach this black attitude about the whole system thing,, and i didn't, not yet. I'm still filled with hope to the nose.
He was proud of us , of the whole generation I mean , when Mubarak was arrested.
He truly hated Mubarak, he yet felt pity on him, because he is over 80 but truly hated him.
he was always saying ( You will never find an old lady or man , who loves Mubarak, why So?..because no one saw Gamal abdelnasser will ever love Mubarak).
Gamal Abdel-nasser ,, I should absolutely write a full article about him !!
My mother, was actually laughing , when the pure soul meets the pure immorality, there is nothing left but a laugh, to hide all the anger .
she was fascinated by this story of cheating.
when an important player I guess, was running for elections , he wanted to win in any possible way.
so he chose the fast way, to cheat!, so he tamped elections (he said that after the revolution of course), that he put with his hands 3.000 paper with his name, paid to ppl whatever bribes he needed.
to find the result that he was given only 500 vote.
Hahaha , Mum said even the cheating was being cheated , how disgusting and funny is that?!
Me : the pinky view of course , that I will be the one in my family who will do something, who will change something, I didn't give up hope , and I'm sure I won't anytime soon. I just love the country with all its disgusting stuff, know what is that? it is called unconditional love !!

The silent girl Vs. the talkative one

-I'm not seeing myself 10 years from now yet, I'm not seeing where will I be? Or how can you find me then.
Yet I have a clear view about the places you will never find me in , and what I won't be doing.

-I think and pretty sure that people get what places they won't work at away before knowing the places they really love to  work at  ,, Ironic still true, at least to me.
Hate is always my way to find what I really love, to me hate is the temporarily beginning of anything , I sill remember how I hated my two long-life best friends at first.
Back to me point ( I hate this about me , changing points I mean , a single word can lead me to thousand subject,, Ops I did it again :D)

-How did I know?!.. O.k in the class everyone has his role, everyone has a place in the class : the nerd (which rather call a passionate towards something accidentally coincidentally  showed to be studying),, the genius ,, the jerk,, the funny,, the cool ,, the silent,, and Me)

-Me :I've always been the kind of girl who talks a lot, who moves a lot, if I want to pick up the pen from ground the ruler is now on ground.
My chemistry senior teacher told me that I'm over-energetic girl !!
I've always been the kind of girl who looks to everyone's face, every detail, everything.
You will never see my eyes on something a whole min.
I hate standing still. So u will absolutely never find me behind a disk at work doing the paper work.
cause I can't bear sitting 2 hours ,, I can't listen 1 hour without a talk-break.
I'm not proud of that, yet i won't change that anytime soon.

She ( a friend who I rather call the silent girl) : Haha OK how can I ever describe something like this, at first I thought that people who don't talk a lot, don't have anything to say. that was before I met her.
She can remain silent 7 hours together without saying a single word , in the class I never heard her , in the whole first year of high school I didn't even know she is in my school.
Once I was looking to her face to see if she really blink like humans , at first I could never recognize her voice.
she always has two pens , that if one of them is on ground she don't have to move to pick it then.
My English senior teacher told me something about her ( She don't talk but when she does , we have to listen). and I said inside me like Wow.
Is silence has this power to describe someone's personality more than a well-picked word ever can?!.
Or you couldn't choose the exactly needed words to describe how you feel so you chose this tool?!.

I really don't know yet.
The silent girl Vs. the talkative energetic one !

S.O.S

I don't know how to start this, it is so damn hard that I'll have to put all my problems, dreams , life in this article.
i want to write this and not to read it again, not to remember that i ever wrote most of it one day.
i have to write this like the sailor who writes a note a s.o.s , put it in a bottle and throw it in the sea, in the ocean.
and he knows damn well that there are little chances that someone would actually see it, and may be more little chances that someone would actually read it. Yet he do so to feel better, to feel that he didn't have anything else to do. to have something to pray through it , he threw it to pray, to not asking for a big miracle to be rescued, he thinks the note makes it like asking for a small one. to change his prayer from (Please God , rescue me ) to (Please God, someone read the note).
I'm writing this hoping i would get that feeling today, tomorrow..to pray by this. that someone, somewhere, somehow might understands. that someone accidentally was surfing blogs and find this, and he accidentally read it.
I'm writing this at my room , at night when everyone i know is probably
asleep.
I'm only 18 yet i can say that I've been through enough , that life keeps teaching me lessons one after another and i don't have desire to learn, and there is no breaks . and the teachers ( people who are teaching me those lessons) are looking to me like i really had enough breaks . the first teacher comes to give me this serious look , like i slept enough yesterday and it is time for school and gives the hardest lesson ever, the second one gives me this more serious look like i had enough sleeping and playing in the first lesson. and he doesn't know that i had neither slept yesterday nor had i fun in the first lesson.

I'm going with my words, with my feelings to someone who might understand, someone feels the same way like i do.
I'm not giving my words to over-optimistic people, to not ruin them.

I 'm experiencing this feeling now and I don't know anything about myself, about my hopes, just a wish-list which i consider now the only thing that proves my identity.
I don't know what i am born to do , what qualities do i have to get through anything in my life.
Am i really strong?. Do i really hate maths? Am i really passionate towards physics?..
are these questions are really this ease to answer..
they are saying something about middle-age-crisis for men..and the menopause for women.
I'm telling you that at my age there has to be something like this.
I'm not being pessimistic , I'm not complaining over anything.
it is just that I'm feeling that my life isn't on the right track yet. that i didn't achieve much yet.
Will i be looking to this 5 years from now , writing myself a comment that I've done enough and I'm ready to speak about it. that would be number 17 on my wish-list!.

Days of our lives

I

This show .
I Have been watching this show since I was in 4th grade , most  people around me are saying that it is such a boring one, yet I don't give a clear answer,
Maybe cause I don't care what they think of the show , or me for watching the show , or me for not answering their comments about the show.
the show's really boring moments are absolutely
objective and meaningful, at least for me.
it shows the relation between different couples and how they face anything stays in their way. what fascinates me is that it gave me many thoughts like: out there there is different kinds of love , different kinds of passion,different ways, and there isn't anything called typical love , but the common thing is that '' if you really love each other , you will find the way''..
it shows typical moments between couples , like when they are having a normal conservation , but their glances , their way of talk'n is what makes things different.
There are people who meant to be together , don't try to be in their way, don't try to love someone of this couple, just wish them LUCK..
and don't be sad because you will find someone who you meant to be with. Don't waste time and go find this one.
My fav. one is Chelsea '' the angry angel'' . I like the actress but that is not the reason for loving her.
It is so me , and I'm not exactly proud of that. but yea I can say tons of stuff I don't mean , I keep pushing people away always thinking that they will always come back.
I'm not exactly Abby '' the cookie girl'' ,I don't hate her but not all girls are happy making cookies or lecturing others. Chelsea isn't mean ,well actually she is , but she just need someone to understand. and anything else will be that ease, she promises..

Relations-thing, is eating me

OK, I have a problem., there are some stuff that seem so simple to some people but it is so freaking complicated to me. One of those things is the relatives' relations or so called the family tree, when it comes to these relations , my mind stops working, I feel that the crack in my mind is in the same exact region which is responsible for this skill , if it was a skill.

I noticed that in the funeral of my father's uncle (the brother of my grandmother) . when he died I discovered that this man was the uncle of my aunt's husband (my dad's brother -in-law ,also his cousin ) confusing huh?..I really don't know . Is that only in my family?..

so my little brother asked me what is the relation between my grandmother and my this person? o.k the answer was so clear that they are brother and sister LOL...just that easy, well it is easy now cause i found my way to you to make you understand.

so I looked at him and couldn't answer and if something that I really hate is not answering my little brother's questions so I told him keep this ques.,I will be right back.

and I went to the bedroom closed the door , brought a white sheet and a pen and I started to get all relations on paper, I found some interesting stuffs , *thank God my father and mother aren't related that was going to complicate everything*

then my paper was in my hand , found all I needed to tell him the exact answer.

OK fine I have problem when it comes to relations, I wonder why is it so blur to me?!

From things that truly impressed me

Beyond the limitless

-Only one word can hold between its first and last alphabet more than one meaning, by a meaning i don't mean a noun, a verb, an adjective comes from the same exact word.
I mean a word with it accessories , another and so on...
-Broader than this meanings , the results will be probably doubled on the level of different accents , the same exact alphabets with different tones comin out.
see? it is actually broader than what people might understand.
so that was the grammar-vocabulary level, on another level one can hear or read a word, another one with the same age hears the same word, with the same accent, in the same exact sentence.
But they are getting different meanings , according to their knowledge and experiences.
Example: The common one is the word ''LOVE" , when one hears this word he start to think of all the bitterness he went through, to another it is a sign of joy, to a third it is marriage in his culture, responsibility,fallacy.
-the word isn't changing but the link between words is what giving it its meaning. and we will probably getting double the results if the two persons were different ages. with a whole different view and depth of thinking.
Are you getting this? Circles among circles of meanings can be brought to you but still it is limited.
One can't read the word happiness to understand misery, there are some meaning links that are just not there.

-silence, I will have to describe this word either very limited OR limitless.
As it seems to have only one clear meaning in all accents , in all languages, in all kingdoms .Even animal's ones, as I referred to this , I'm also obliged to refer that this word's meaning can't be shallow. It can't be, I'll talk for myself
-When I'm thrilled , it appears all over my face , anyone can see this state all over my glances, all over my tiny movements, then beyond than i remain silent , this pure silence as finally i don't have to talk to feel better.
(like he said : it is only when someone is really happy he doesn't need to sleep, because his reality is finally better than his dreams..OK he said when one is in love but to prove my point.)
-When I'm sad, these moments when you feel that everything is falling apart, i remain silent .
-silence between lovers : is passion.
-silence between a husbad and wife : can be boredom :D
-silence between friends : is understanding.
-silence between enemies : is a postponement for the battle.
I can give you hundreds of meanings but we can dispense with all of that is you really felt all of these.
I'm saying it is just not fair to think that this word has only one meaning in all minds, in all states , this is limitless somehow.
.-so a word is broader than its alphabets as it can bring hundreds of meanings but it still limited , the silence or the non-word isn't superficial ,it is limitless But beside the word and the non -word , there is the meditation
when you meditate, there is no spoken words, no tones comin out, no tongue movement, so when you meditate, there is silence , a fake one.You scream , you ask, your heart talks, you mind wonder, things around you answer , you hear other voices, you speak other languages, you use other frames, other senses, you read codes clearly, you translate thing's silence, you run , you shoot, and you get peace, you reach a settlement between a heart and a mind.
so don't you dare telling me it is actually silence.

-I know your question now, so silence isn't really exist after all?
-I'm telling you yes..it is a fake truth , a truth that isn't really there.

so the last step now arrange the three words as you want let the meditation be the middle, or let it be the last , let it be beyond the limitless, it is an answer you have to make yourself provided that , you must judge yourself according to its position.
Let it be the middle, then you chose it to be limited with a limitless view. now you chose it to be a non-toned spoken word.
If it was the last you chose it to be unspoken-toned word. Am i crazy?..now I can say Yes.   

A new improved me

If you were a friend of mine , you would probably heard from me this statement over and over and nothing changed at least nothing worthwhile!! .but that doesn't mean i will quit saying these words any day soon , but it does mean that, the magical effect of my words on your ears may be less and it is OK !!..cause i find the challenge actually the pleasure of challenge in making the tone rougher, in making the effect reach your heart as it belongs, I say these words and i don't know how to finish this article, but i do put all my feelings wishing something good may come out of it !!...I'm being honest and that what counts ...I've lived for too long I'm 18 but i do have this feeling ..my main thought that i want to know everything i mean everything when i reach like 80 i will defiantly start to write my whole autobiography or typing it cause i think there won't be any pens then :)..i want to find plenty of stuffs to write down ..I'm so ambitious !!. Our English teacher put that article in our English exam to translate it, it was explaining how Over-ambition can be useless and maybe dangerous ..I thought for awhile it lingered me for days. Am i really over-ambitious ?..and whom can i ask this question? Is it someone who conquered the world or someone who is absolutely satisfied to be an ordinary employee ...why to ask if i can predict both answers?...And i found this out , I may not reach all my ambitions but over-ambitions can drove me ahead to something good less but still good it can be an ambition of another one !!...i went to high school well i can say when i was there ( cause i finished it; 2 months ago ) i wasn't the best.I wasn't the second best but I can say i was different and it is OK for a start ....I wasn't one of the crew and i wasn't that someone whose name is neither forgettable nor my tiny movements ...back to my point It is OK to not believe my words , when i say i want to make something , i will make something, i want to leave my fingerprints, i want them to be clear,, (why them and all the fingerprints is the same?)...i will print them in more than an aspect i will use my talent in aspect and use my hard work in another ...life is too short to waste it and I'm starting using it NOW ...HERE!!



and hold this in your mind as a PROMISE .

In Somalia ....I wonder

-You know what is bothering me the most amongst all the political and social issues, that I've always had this belief about how everything is so clear by everything i mean GOOD,RIGHT,VOID, and WRONG.
How a mistake is so clear , how people who commit crimes are known, and the way to fix anything is not so hard not (bumpy) if that was the word!.

-What bothers me the most , that I've lost this belief and believe me it is not good for one  to lose a single belief, this just threaten others you have.
I've lost this belief . or the major part of it at least , i have found exceptions , i hate  exceptions it makes you over-think like it isn't enough to reach out the norm itself !.

-In every single situation , in Syria , in Iraq, in Lebanon , in Egypt
we at least know who is good and who is being unfair , this can at least gives us a clue about how everything ends.
But what is happening in Somalia is the exception I've always hated
,, people are dying there OK? whose fault is this?.

-Before you answer , just think again, but don't take too long thinking , because in your rethinking period there is at least a boy or a girl whom you killed by taking so long time.Back to my point
-Whose fault is this? ..who can we blame?..the nature
Einstein biggest ques. ever was. Before anything we can put in our mind we must ask ourselves Is this a friendly universe?..
I'm giving yes as an answer , we can't blame the universe , the nature. I have no body to blame for starting this, but i blame every single person for not ending this disaster.
but blaming isn't leading us anywhere yet i blame badly .

-Have you seen the pics.?.
Have you seen it?
Is there any more painful death than starving to death..than thirst to death ?...screaming to death? crying , complaining to death? so slow,  so painful.
I wish I could give them my dish ..I wish I shared starvation, they can starve at day and me at night.
But wishing isn't leading us anywhere either.
what can I do beside blaming and wishing and praying?.
but I'll figure out something soon enough..

(After 45 min.)
O.k I have this idea now .I persuaded my mother to make all the donations this year to Somalia. Don't underestimate this cause I begged her . she wanted to give it to help people dying from cancer. I'm sorry children to ask this,but you should share to by forgiving me .
Have you started thinking Or what?!.

Criticism (1)

For those who don't listen
-I hate that !!...TRULY
-I hate when i ask my teacher something , and he start to give me tons of proofs about a completely different thing ..
So i repeat my questions as a comment on this wrong-aimed proofs ( Although they don't fit..unlinked...have nothing to do with each other)..
and he replay : YEA , YEA ..I know .I'm saying ............(The same exact words).........
-I swear there were times i wanted to say loudly : Actually, No you don't know what I'm talking about !!
I want those to doubt their over-knowledge for a while and listen ..
You will be surprised as deep as me to finally know that you know what I'm talking about..
For those who don't listen (Just take the easy way and listen )..

For those who work in publicity , and whose job is to think about the ideas of
commercials:
-It became a disaster , the commercials i mean
- the songs, the music, the ideas , ALL OF THEM are stupid
-I know that most people haven't noticed that until this min., how to notice?
and there was this action or romantic movie running, then its feelings lingers them during
the break , so they can't notice how stupid the commercials are ..and i do believe that
nobody will see those after or before the movie..
..But i do noticed ,
-1. Oxi-one...''El 7ayah ba2a lonha Oxi'' Huh?
whose brilliant idea is this ?...what is this statement means anyway?!
and can anybody tell me what is smart enzymes?!
for whom this commercial?.

2-Have you noticed that the hair, the skin , the toothpaste commercials are all fake?
in any hair commercial, why the girl has to be so beautiful ? it is giving the wrong message
why the girl has to got those white teeth , this pure soft skin?
it is so damn obvious that girl was born beautiful...or she is doing all the surgeries to reach this !!
why don't they choose a yellow skin or sun-tanned skin for hair commercials?
why the girl with pure skin has those bright white teeth?..

3-In some channels like ''MELODY"..there are too many commercials , away too many
If any friend of mine told me that the new Ahmed-helmy movie is coming on melody tonight for the first time, i would say Wow , i will have to wait it to be the 8 or 9 time to actually can see it ( with little number of commercials)
- Never see the movie in it first time coming out , they are using us REALLY!!

4- And by the way , i think if any company invest its money in those channels (with too many commercials), they are just being crazy ..why? Simply because people will see something else in the mean time i mean in the 30 or 45 min. of commercials
-Never invest your money by publicizing in those channels !!..

When they were leading us

I can't think of a better title for this. When they were trying to lead us , they mislead us.
Facebook, I can almost swear that everyone now has a clue about what is facebook all about.
I can almost swear that i will find some people don't now who is the minster of any ministry in his/her own country, yet he/she can use the facebook easily.
it became so popular, so common, it made it so easy to chat with people all over the world , to find your friends , to find people with the same attitude, with the same experience.
Yet I'm talking now about the unreal life it is giving so easy.

-About (LIKE) thing under each status , each page , each group , each comment there is this word -like-.
I'm so furious of this like thing .
when i wrote i feel so bored..any ideas?.., i found a like
so he/she liked that I'm so bored, or liked the idea that I'm asking for ideas. OK whatever.

-when my friend wrote on the wall of my other friend : Are you at home ,I'm trying to reach you, Call me when you read this. I found a third friend's like!...so confusing sa7?.

-i can say that people don't get the whole idea of like thing,, let me say this if you pressed like this actually means that you liked what was writen , you liked an activity , you liked a saying , a quote, a joke ....It dosesn't mean that you saw the comment ..i see that people like the status before reading the rest of ot and as a proof i had to have when i'm telling you this , it wasn't an accident . I wrote as a status (D..L..k)...i don't even know what are those alphabets and they aren't refering to anything..to anything i know at least!.
so in 48 hours i got 12 likes..LOL!!

-that was people acts towards this like thing , but to whom who made this whole thing?..what is like thing all about? if i liked a friend's activity let me write that i liked it.
if someone liked mine , let them tell me that with reasons .
see, when there were trying to make it so easy , they made it so hard for people to not like something , to have a distinct opinion .

- i won't like anything from now , i will make them know that i read it the whole of it ,and i had this moment thinking about it before i bothered myself posting a comment.