I didn't mind then

I didn't mind then, to think of all what you needed me to think of,, in order to justify your ego. I said them over and over, loud as you demanded, with no regrets, with no doubts of your twisted desire, something disappeared within me every time I bowed, something faded with time, I didn't notice that, I never cared for myself enough in order to do that, and that wasn't good for you, you had to take it all, taking away my soul wasn't that good, you had to break every attempt of me to re-build myself after what you broke, you did broke everything, and left peacefully. then I lived very much alone, with my bittered memories chasing me everyplace I go, I heard you in every song, even songs I know now they didn't fit then at all, I read you in every sentence in every story, your name rhymed every poem , I saw your look In every movie , I thought I had seen you in every street, I thought you were every passer-by. You were chasing me, In matter how hard I wanted to let go, you didn't make it easy. Dreams were much worse, to finally let go your mind to think of whatever he wants, can be very much devastating,dangerous. I yelled at shadows at night, I was like crazy with the whole world he lives in , I had a whole world too, it was your memories, I cried ,and cried, days upon days. months passed now. I think I do mind now, to see you , to remember that you were a part of my life awhile ago, I don't remember you, I only remember the bitterness you made me get through, I linked you with all the scars in my life, now you are everything that don't fit, that just don't fit .

Couldn't reach a beautiful title

You know when you read something, and it seems to rock your world, as if someone somewhere has looked at you, and in a single moment figured you out, and touched you to the deepest fibers of your being? That is what this is. With a little bit of faith, and an open mind you fill find time after time that every post really was written just for you. There is wisdom and an understanding in these posts that go beyond what you usually find in any form, and there is strength to be borrowed when you need it most. I have never found anything else like this and it is well worth sharing. Via Iwrotethisforyou!

Pure!

At night, when you are lying on your bed, just before you lose that link to reality, after you bothered yourself thinking of all your worries, about every shattered hope, your guilts, every undiminished mission you were not able to accomplish during the whole day, after all of that, you kinda reach that pure moment when you think that everything makes sense, every person you met, every word was said, made sense, all the random parts of the random articles and books you read , rearranged and found their place in your mind, in your soul, every situation you were put in, led you straight to a feeling that you could have never lived without.
Everything in your day made sense,and so did the awkwardness! you then think that you a part of something bigger, something huge, that your existence has to mean something, it is one moment, one pure moment that lasts more than it seems to be. then you close your eyes , seeking for inner peace, that peace you were not able to achieve during the day, 8 hours before you open them again, before the pain manifests, before you re-obtain the link to reality, to worries, to guilts, again. and you can't wait to re-lose the link, again and again.  

A dialogue with my atheist friend

 I have this long-life dream to read all Mustafa Mahmoued's books, all of them , no excuses.
I read more than 10 books so far, which is a pretty good start, as I started quite short time ago.
About this book, I read more than one review in goodreads , and everything was like encouraging me to pick this particular book to read.
And I did,and it is like the most powerful book I've ever read for the author till now (after Einstein and relativity).
It is mainly about religion , about how every single thing in the universe stand for something, every single word in Quran wasn't put by coincidence, every thing has a drastic reason,  an enormous rule.
Also it is about philosophy. Science, when those three branches are united , the book becomes worth every second passed and every piaster paid . 
It made my eyes burst in tears, to see how great Allah really is, how meek, patient.
 It tells you how his friend the atheist doesn't really believe in atheism. he just deny being monothesist or being involved and restricted to any religion. he can't believe in atheism , nobody can,because being atheist is choosing  not to believe in anything, even the concept it-self, got it?!

I liked those quotes.

لأن الله غيب .. ولأن المستقبل غيب .. ولأن الآخرة غيب .. ولأن من يذهب إلى القبر لا يعود .. راجت بضاعة الإلحاد ..
وسادت الأفكار المادية .. وعبد الناس أنفسهم واستسلموا لشهواتهم وانكبوا على الدنيا يتقاتلون على منافعها .. وظن
أكثرهم أن ليس وراء الدنيا شيء وليس بعد الحياة شيء .. وتقاتلت الدول الكبرى على ذهب الأرض وخيراتها .. وأصبح
للكفر نظريات وللمادية فلسفات وللإنكار محاريب وسدنة وللمنكرين كعبة يتعلقون بأهدابها ويحجون إليها في حلهم
وترحالهم .. كعبة مهيبة يسمونها "العلم".




ولماذا يتعدد الكامل ..؟ وهل به نقص ليحتاج إلى من يكمله ؟ .. إنما يتعدد الناقصون 




لله أعطانا الحرية أن نعلو على رضاه "فنعصيه" ، ولكن لم يعط أحداً الحرية في أن يعلو على مشيئته .. وهنا وجه آخر من
وجوه نسبية الحرية الإنسانية



الناس يولدون من لحظة الميلاد غير متساوين في الذكاء والقوة والجمال والمواهب ..
يولدون درجات في كل شيء ..
واقصى ما طمعت فيه المذاهب الاقتصادية هي المساواة في الفرص وليس المساواة بين الناس ..
ان يلقى كل واحد نفس الفرصة في التعليم والعلاج والحد الادنى للمعيشة ..
وهو نفس ما تحض عليه الاديان ..
اما الغاء الدرجات والغاء التفاوت فهو الظلم بعينه والامر الذي ينافي الطبيعة


أنت تسلم بأن الله خالق ثم تقول من خلقه ؟! فتجعل منه خالقاً ومخلوقاً في نفس الجملة وهذا تناقض
والله الذي خلق الزمان والمكان هو بالضرورة فوق الزمان والمكان

يقول الله في الحديث القدسي  انا يستدل بي .. انا لا يستدل عليّ

ويسخر الملحد فيقول اليس عجيبا هذا الرب الذي بتدخل في كل صغيرة و كبيرة؟ فيأخذ بناصية الدابة و يوحي للنحل ان تتخذ بيوتا من الجبال و ما تسقط ورقة الا و يعلمها و ما تلد انثي الا و يعلمها و اذا عثرت قدم في حفرة فهو الذي اعثرها و اذا سقطت ذبابة في طعام
  فهو الذي اوقعها الا تشغلون الهكم بتفاهات؟

ولا أفهم أيكون الرب في نظر السائل أجدر بالربوبية لو أنه أعفى
نفسه من هذه المسئوليات وأخذ إجازة وأدار ظهره للكون الذي
خلقه وترآه يأآل بعضه بعضاً!
هل الرب الجدير في نظره هو رب عاطل مغمى عليه لا يسمع ولا
يرى ولا يستجيب ولا يعتني بمخلوقاته ؟ .. ثم من أين للسائل
بالعلم بأن موضوعاً ما تافه لا يستحق تدخل الإله، وموضوعاً آخر
مهماً وخطير الشأن ؟
إن الذبابة التي تبدو تافهة في نظر السائل لا يهم في نظره أن
تسقط في الطعام أو لا تسقط، هذه الذبابة يمكن أن تغيّر التاريخ
بسقوطها التافه ذلك .. فإنها يمكن أن تنقل الكوليرا إلى جيش
وتكسب معرآة لطرف آخر، تتغير بعدها موازين التاريخ آله.
ألم تقتل الإسكندر الأآبر بعوضة ؟
إن أتفه المقدمات ممكن أن تؤدي إلى أخطر النتائج .. وأخطر
المقدمات ممكن أن تنتهي إلى لا شيء .. وعالم الغيب وحده هو
الذي يعلم قيمة آل شيء.
وهل تصور السائل نفسه وصيّاً على الله يحدد له اختصاصاته ..
تقدّس وتنزّه ربنا عن هذا التصور الساذج.
إنما الإله الجدير بالألوهية هنا هو الإله الذي أحاط بكل شيء علماً
.. لا يعزب عنه مثقال ذرة في الأرض ولا في السماء.
الإله السميع المجيب ، المعتني بمخلوقاته.


-صدقني أنا أشعر أحياناً بأن هناك قوة..
-قوة!
-نعم .. ثمة قوة مجهولة وراء الكون.. أنا أؤمن تماماً بأن هناك
قوة..
-وما تصورك لهذه القوة.. أتتصورها كائناً يسمع ويرى ويعقل
ويتعهد مخلوقاته بالرعاية والهداية، وينزل لهم الكتب ويبعث لهم
الرسل ويستجيب لصرخاتهم وتوسلاتهم ؟
-بصراحة أنا لا أصدق هذا الكلام ولا أتصوره، وأكثر من هذا أراه
ساذجاً لا يليق بهذه القوة العظيمة
-إذن فهي قوة آهرمغنطيسية عمياء تسوق الكون في عبثية لا
خلاق لها.. وهذه هي الصفة التي تليق بقوتك العظيمة..
-ربما..
-بئس ما تصورت إلهك.. خلق لك البصر فتصورته أعمى.. وخلق
لك الرشد فتصورته عابثاً أخرق.. والله إنك الكافر بعينه، ولو
أحسنت السير والسلوك مدى الدهر.. وإنّ أعمالك الصالحة
مصيرها الإحباط يوم الحساب وأن تتبدد هباء منثوراً..

Between

-Between the said and the non-said words lies thousands of vigorous conflicts, that you can't handle, you can't ignore, you can't help but to give up, each time you will try to wage a battle against those which you consider a non-desirable mind trash, they will grow, leaving deeper scars, bringing other conflicts , lessen the gap between their occurrence too.
Then you seem to have found a way when you give up, to realize now that giving up is not the end,don't solve anything, just another way to make things worse,and realize that you must give up giving up.
what to do? I wish I could answer! but there is a reason I labeled it as Endless issues!

Nobody waits

OK, you must get it, people fall all the time, stop felling pity, stop being paranoid, nobody is waiting for you to hold your hand, tough world here, stop waiting for prince charming to get you out your misery, he won't come, nobody will, no time for you to procrastinate , to feel like you are worth-waiting , well you are not, nobody is.
Your slump?, too bad that nobody cares, bad memories? so deal with them, it is moving can't you see? Stand up now. Jump. Find yourself a place among all the crowd, later you will have much time to cry over your wounds, you will find a shoulder to lean on, to cry on, to feel the humanity through it, your own humanity, Not fair? who said it was, it never was, it never will.
I did said later, didn't I?, not now , far later.
Move ahead now, the last beep, can't you hear?!, No, no other chances to reach there , a long trip but you will reach eventually, Me? Too late for me, I wasted too long, I asked too many questions, No one waited, You, be worth-waiting. Know a lot. Find your track, Don't cry over anything now, they won't wait, it is just the way things are, too many people fell already , don't be one, now RUN RUN, remember don't fall. don't be one.

.

[HBBC] : Supernatural Powers

This week's topic is Engi Amin's choice . Meet the rest of the HBBC members here!

- My first time, what do I hope to achieve?! -Proudly adding another prospect to the topics and interacting with the awesome members :D, Maybe going far and say Improving my English!

-First, I do believe that everyone will answer this concerning to his own experiences that he went through when he was young .and No, I didn't want to fly like (Bat man), Or Crawling and climbing up buildings like (Spider man).

 Unfortunately, the clock is ticking,
the hours are going by.
The past increases,
the future recedes.
Possibilities decreasing,
regrets mounting.  Haruki Murakami

-then I said, what if that was not what is going to happen everyday!
-My dream (actually was more like hope, I was hopeful even when I asked for miracles, I was more believer then) was having the ability to freeze time!
Imagine all the embarrassing situations you will able to skip just like that, Or how it can help you putting words together at an interview, Or turning-point talent show.
Imagine all the stumbles you would be able to erase from your Embarrassment diary , and YES, I have one :P, and No, You can't borrow it!
-Imagine how you can't miss one dead line then, how tons of projects will be delivered in time (and You delayed it as much as you need), Or just think how long you can cry without anyone waiting you to finish and to move on, You don't have to move on then, time won't erase your memory.
Your good ones, and you will not be allowing a bad memory to be part of your day.
-No more hurry. No more panic (I start to feel it is more like let's-be-lazy event :P).
I absolutely choose ''freezing time'' regardless of all evil stuff that may come out from choosing this :P
And Ah one last thing, it is not Hollywood, it is not heaven, It is here, so deliver your projects in time, and stop wishing for a super power, make your own one!